women will never tell these secrets to men
A woman may give you her body and her heart, but there are parts that she’ll never give up. Pieces have woven into the very fibre of her being. Mysteries only hinted at in a passing sly smile, an inscrutable laugh.
These are the secrets of lovers past, hidden fantasies, and unshared longings. A woman’s deepest secrets that don’t—and never will—include you. You’re about to sample this hidden knowledge. But like any man who seeks, you’d better be prepared for what you’re about to find.
1. Boob sweat.
2. Women’s urine flow rate is better than men’s apart from 18-45. It’s better before and after those stages because men’s goes in a bell curve whereas women’s is static.
3. Every girl who has ever taken a guy home has weighed the risk that he could rape/kill/traffic her against how much she likes him.
4. Not every period is the same, and lots of girls don’t have periods for a variety of reasons, e.g. the progesterone-only pill, the coil/implant, they’re underweight or have polycystic ovaries.
6. That we often get people to proofread texts. To make sure they don’t come across as too 1) eager 2) casual 3) formal.
8. ‘We also masturbate.
9. She fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before it actually happened.
10. She still thinks about her ex-boyfriends and compares them to you, Mostly you win. Sometimes not.
11. When she says, “I’m ready,” she’ll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready.
12. When she says, “I’ll meet you in 15 minutes,” she means she will leave in 15 minutes, and thus, she won’t actually arrive for at least 30 (but probably more like 40).
13. You’ve made her cry more times than you’ll ever know.
14. She wants you to talk a little dirty.
15. She checks out your butt every time you leave the room
16. If she’s going to break up with you, all of her friends know way before you do, she’s been talking about it for two weeks.
17. She wants you to take control in bed.