1. His work life may be overwhelming
When you think of a mistress, you likely automatically think of another partner entering into the picture. But the “mistress” taking up all of your man’s attention and affection could actually be his occupation. When men are passionately involved with their careers, they can sublimate sexual excitement that would normally be directed toward their wives. The accolades, money and ego boost from being regularly praised, or promoted, can be a turn-on. Try talking to your partner about some ways you can balance out his work-life responsibilities, and what boundaries you can establish to keep work out of the bedroom.
According to a recent review published in Urology, testosterone levels decline with age as rapidly as 0.4 to 2 per cent annually after age 30, and around 13 per cent of the male population has hypogonadism, which is a failure to produce enough testosterone. In addition to low libido, symptoms of low testosterone can include decreased energy, low mood, fatigue, loss of muscle mass, and even erectile dysfunction. 97 per cent of men who have low testosterone levels report a negative impact on their sex lives.
3. He could be experiencing male menopause
The term “male menopause,” medically referred to as “andropause,” describes the age-related decreasing of testosterone levels in men. Not to worry, though — it’s not as sudden or intense as the bodily changes women can sometimes face. Avoid taking it personally if he used to want to tear off your clothes when you walked in the door and now he hardly notices the new skirt you’re wearing. The reason may simply be biological, not psychological. Instead of closing up, talk to him about his sexual feelings and needs — and yours.
The proliferation of pornography is a natural consequence of the ability to both upload and watch uncensored internet content in today’s increasingly digitalized world. According to researchers at Indiana University and the University of Hawaii, men who consumed porn experienced significantly lower levels of satisfaction with their partners, in terms of intimacy, romantic attachment, love for your partner, happiness, commitment, and relationships assessment. What could be turning them to porn in the first place? Men who suffer from loneliness often find a huge reduction in the number of opportunities for interactions with others and intimacy.
Worse yet, porn addictions can have some devastating consequences on relationships. When porn becomes addictive, a man relies on it to become stimulated instead of relying on his spouse. That’s because the neurochemicals flooding a man’s brain during a porn fix (also called eroto-chemicals) may be as addictive as cocaine. Studies have shown that porn fuels unrealistic expectations about what sex should be like. It makes men less satisfied with their partners. If you suspect that your husband may be getting sexual gratification from pornography instead of you, you can find resolution by acknowledging the problem, talking it out, and perhaps meeting with a sex therapist for counselling.
5. He might have anxiety about his low sex drive
Premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation can be common problems for men with erectile dysfunction (ED), and it can definitely affect his confidence. Erectile dysfunction, early ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation might have diverse causes but their common factors — a man’s frustration, worry and feelings of inadequacy — can shut things down sexually between you. 95 per cent of men with premature ejaculation are helped by behavioural techniques that help control ejaculation. ED is mostly treated with various medications and psychological counselling.
Loss of sex drive for a man doesn’t just mean problems in the bedroom. His low libido could be a clue to other concerning health problem. The penis can be considered a barometer of overall health for men, and if there are problems in this area, it could be symptomatic of larger health issues such as diabetes, prostate cancer, or heart disease. In fact, diabetes hastens sexual decline in men by as much as 15 years. While a loss of sex drive doesn’t always mean he has a health condition, it wouldn’t hurt to mention your concern to him so he can pass along any questions to his doctor.
7. He could be overweight
Yes, it’s possible that weight could be diminishing your partner’s desire to be intimate. A study published in the Journal of Education and Health Promotion found that obesity and a lack of physical activity led to an increase of sexual dysfunctions in 43 per cent of women and 31 per cent of men. Diabetes and obesity reduce sexual activity. Large body mass and poor body image ruin intimacy, which is core to the opportunity of having sex. Exercising increases endorphins and can make people feel better about themselves, as well as eating healthy foods. Those who eat heavy, fattening, greasy or overly sugary foods may feel tired and sluggish, not sexy.
8. He could be stressed
Could job overload or financial insecurities really interfere with libido? Those under an extreme amount of stress often lose their sex drive temporarily. Clearly, you can’t remove the source of his stress or turn investments from red to green on the stock charts, but you can encourage him to make simple changes that will boost his health and his libido.