It is a common occurrence in relationships and can occur to anyone. It is a type of emotional and psychological abuse in which a person tricks their partner into believing that they are illogical and that their ideas are insignificant. Gaslighting is a deliberate attempt to undermine one’s self-esteem and confidence.
Here are some warning signs that you need to look out for if you want to know if you are being gaslighted in a relationship.
You are always the one apologising
Gaslighters have a way of flipping things around and making you the victim in every situation. When you have a fight, it is always your fault, and you end up apologising just to keep things from getting worse between you two. Through rational thinking, the entire blame shifts to you, and your partner will try to prove to you that you were being illogical and irrational.
They play with your insecurities
Your partner will be aware of your insecurities and will use them against you. If you threaten them with leaving, they will blackmail you by saying or demeaning things about you that you are most insecure about. They will keep you vulnerable so that you will not be able to leave them.
You start doubting yourself
One of the most important things to notice is your own behaviour around them and whether or not you are feeling down. Gaslighters will take advantage of your vulnerabilities and insecurities and use them against you, making you doubt your own abilities. They will deceive you into believing that you are unworthy of anyone’s attention and that you are unimportant. When you begin to doubt your own intentions, there may be something wrong that requires your attention.
You feel dismissed and neglected
If your partner begins to disregard your feelings and emotions, you may be being gaslighted for real. Your partner may be dismantling your opinion, feelings, emotions, and ideas by dismissing them as irrational, illogical, or stupid.
Constant feeling of negativity
If you have negative feelings about your partner and your relationship, this could be cause for concern. Your relationship is supposed to make you happy and safe, not the other way around. If you are constantly experiencing feelings of negativity, self-doubt, fights, and heated arguments, you should take a step back and question everything.
A gaslighter will always try to manipulate your thoughts and feelings because that is what they do and how they try to control you. It gives them a great sense of accomplishment to get what they want. It’s always them versus you. If your partner does something nice for you and you agree to it, it’s a win-win situation for both of you.
They discard your problems by saying ‘it’s not a big deal’
If you’re in a fight with your partner and he dismisses your feelings by saying it’s not a big deal and you’re probably overreacting, it’s time to reconsider your position in this relationship and stop doubting yourself.
If it gets too toxic, simply leave
Last but not least, if nothing else works and it becomes too toxic for you, all you have to do is leave. Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation, and if you feel disrespected, it’s time to find someone who will respect your decisions.