When meeting a man for the first time for an arranged marriage, many of us are given a list of questions to ask. From marriage expectations to relocating to a new city, we have a rule book of questions to be asked. However, few people are taught what not to ask a man when meeting him for the first time.
So, if you’re always worried about what you shouldn’t ask a man, here’s a list of three things that are not only impolite but also disrespectful to ask in the first meeting of an arranged marriage. Because, as they say, you don’t have to look for every answer; some things just happen.
Asking him where his parents would live
Just as you wouldn’t want a man to ask whether your parents will come and stay with you on the first date, asking a boy the same question can come across as impolite. While you have the right to inquire whether you will be relocating to a different city, it is impolite to inquire as to where his parents will reside. This may give the boy an incorrect or negative impression of you during the first meeting of an arranged marriage. Instead, be polite and inquire whether you intend to leave or if he prefers to remain with his family. This way, you’ll have a clearer picture of his intentions and will be able to make a more informed decision. If need be, you can tell him how you would be more comfortable if you shift to a new house. But be polite and mention yourself, not his parents.
Asking whether he has enough money to support his parents and family financially
While many people believe this is an important question to ask, there is a way to do so. If you know the boy you’re meeting is a single child, chances are he’s financially supporting his parents and family. Instead of directly asking the question, discuss how you and your partner will manage your finances. This will give you a clear idea of how to proceed with the decision. Because, as we all know, discussing money is a tricky business. It is critical to inquire about it during the first meeting, but it is also critical to be polite and use appropriate language when it comes to an arranged marriage.
Asking whether he would prioritize you over his parents
This is not only impolite and reflects your disrespect for a boy’s parents, but it is also a bit selfish on your part. Because he has spent the majority of his life with his parents, it is understandable that you will need to give a man some time to love you completely in an arranged marriage. An arranged marriage is all about making time and space for both your family and your spouse. So, asking a man if he would prioritize you over his parents is never a good idea.
Asking about his female friends
Consider it this way. Would you want a man to inquire about your male friends during your first meeting in an arranged marriage? The answer is almost certainly no. The same is true for the man. Never question him about his female friends or how frequently he hangs out with them. This will make a bad impression on him, and you may come across as someone with a rudimentary mindset who is always suspicious of things. And, of course, you will never want your first meeting to end on such a sour note.