If you’re in a relationship and feeling trapped in a sexual rut, you’re not alone. While dry spells are a typical part of any relationship, they provide no comfort to couples who are suffering from one. Allison Moon, author of “Girl Sex 101,” told Healthline that “familiarity is the killer of the sex urge.” “The more we become familiar with someone, the less exciting sex becomes.”
Here are some short methods — some of which I’ve tried — to help restart your sex life if it’s lacking in passion.
1. Find a new way to release your body’s energy.
“Try yoga or dancing,” Moon suggests. “Once you have established a connection with your own body, you may establish a connection with your partner’s body.” According to one study, married but sexually inactive adults were more likely to feel depressed and unattractive. Reclaim your sexual power by learning new ways to move and becoming more at ease in your own skin.
2. Recharge your dopamine with a new encounter.
“Trying something new fosters camaraderie and intimacy. Think outside the box and try something new, like an amusement park ride or an escape room,” suggests Sunny Megatron, sex educator and co-host of the American Sex Podcast. “You will produce dopamine and experience the same feelings as you did throughout your relationship’s honeymoon period.”
According to experts, dopamine and other brain chemicals are closely linked to physical attraction and romantic desire, which is why bonding over a new pastime together could help trigger arousal.
3.Plan a sex “fact-finding” night.
“Take one night to have a candid dialogue about what you like and dislike sexually, experiment with new sex moves, and disclose your hidden fantasies,” Megatron told Healthline. “Don’t put any pressure on yourself to be seductive; simply explore to find what you like and say what you ordinarily avoid expressing for fear of humiliating yourself or seeming insensitive.”
According to a 2016 online study survey of 1,200 men and women aged 18 to 25, men and women had vastly different sexual expectations. Couples must share their likes and dislikes in bed in order to have a mutually happy encounter because these expectations are unlikely to change overnight.
4. Take a sex class and spend your weekend practising.
According to Megatron, “taking a couples’ sex class can open up a whole new channel of sex play.” It’s as simple as going to Eventbrite or Facebook to find a one-night sex lesson. Couples can learn about new sex positions, techniques, and toys and props for sex play in a fun — not intimidating — learning setting.
When I went to a bondage lesson with my boyfriend, the sex educator was friendly and made us feel at ease. I recommend it to any couple that wants to have a good time while learning new skills.
5.Take a sensual overnight trip (or not)
“Go somewhere and play a little role-playing. Make up backstories for your characters ahead of time, dress up, and have fun,” Megatron advises. According to the United States Travel Association, couples who travel together have better sex lives.
However, some couples who are working their way back to intimacy may find a sexy rendezvous difficult. “Going on a romantic retreat can put too much pressure on you to perform,” Moon adds. “You will gain even if you spend time together in nonsexual ways. Go trekking together or explore a new local attraction.”